mental note kepada bubu

i'm going to miss u
macam xnak pegi pun ada
i'm scared
i takut i xboleh adjust my life there without u
i takut nak tinggalkan u
i don't know what's going to happen to us
but i just hope kita stay strong
and appreciate masa yg kita ada together

u xkan faham ketakutan i
u kan cool gila
i ni kan memang kaki gelabah
ntah la bubu
i just takut ada big changes nnt
i takut i xboleh cope dgn changes tu

i just nak u ada dgn i
support i mcm yg u selalu buat
i nak u ada dgn i
through susah and senang
we stay together
u've been standing beside me for the past six years
jom la berdiri dgn i lagi untuk more years to come

i'm happy with u,b
despite what ppl say
i xpeduli pun
i'm strong
and i'm stronger bila u ada
i just need u and nothing else
stay with me
i maybe jauh and i mesti nangis2 setiap hari
and i nak u teman i

jgn nakal2 baby
i'll try to see u as much as i can
just tggu i balik ok
jgn gaduh dgn i each time i nak balik
please understand baby
hidup jauh dgn u dah susah utk i
having to teach kat sana pun lg buat i susah
please know
each time i nangis i nak balik tu sebab i nak kumpul strength i balik
i kena ngadu kat u pjg2
i need to know u mmg ada dgn i
then baru i bleh continue life i kat sana blk

pendek kata
just tggu i balik
i tau u akan miss i jugak
xkira la u gangster kampung mana pun
u mesti akan ingat i punya
kan b?
hmm
i dah merepek ni
i xboleh tido
kena gerak naim bangun tido jap lagi
dia nak balik kl naik tren 4.30pagi
i nak dating ngan u lagi esok pagi
wow pengsan la i
just read this and try to understand
i ada byk benda nak pesan kat u
tapi u mesti dah boleh teka semua benda2 tu
since u sgt cerdik,i akan stop menulis skrg

p/s:baby,blog i ni mcm blog bimbo kan?mcm org cetek akal menulis kan?*sigh*

the d-day!!

haha..
posting result was out
haha
can't help laughing
damn

first and foremost,
hi dear bubu
i miss u again
*wink*

well mostly thanks to nad
i'm posted with the latest news about whats going on
the latest news, gossips, bla bla bla
thanks a bunch to nad
"nad,sebab msg ko yg ko hantar setiap hari tu
telah membantu aku memahami kebangangan KPM.thanks babe"
so many rumours flying around
about jpn mana yang dah keluarkan list penempatan
hmm..well i guess i'll just sit by my phone
and wait for it to beep again.
nad will update me with the latest news.
nad macam bilik berita bergerak skrg
sumber yg lebih reliable dr alin.haha
maybe sebab nad je yg ada phone number aku kot

anyway,news about posting came quite shocking
but i predicted worst
turn out,its not so bad
at least me+farah are together
won't die alone there
*sigh*
bubu ckp tempat tu ok je
i'll survive kan?
coz i'm ur baby kan?
i'm strong
i can handle this

i'm excited.nervous,scared to hell and curious
i don't know what to expect
i don't know how the people there will accept me
i hope they won't mind me wearing jeans
i heard kat sana xbley pakai ketat2
hehe
lagi la i'm a tea-cher
kena jaga reputation
role model la katakan
role model my a**
but i think i know how to handle myself
i always thought by being humble and down to earth
will win u many-many hearts

i hope they like me
i hope i know how to attract the student's attention
i'm still wondering
to translate or not to translate?
i don't want to leave the class after every lesson
with the students not being able to understand things that i had taught
i want them to learn
at least 1 or 2 things each time i entered the class
i guess i had to meet the students first
then only i'll be able to tell
why am i talking about this?
am i excited?
hmm maybe
excited to get paid
its been a while living without $$
i can't stand it anymore

to my other friends out there (u know who u are)
best of luck
to dear farah
haha..kita shopping sakan la kat sana
baju kita la yg ter-cun skali

and lastly
to my bubu
i'm going to miss u so much
i know u'll always be beside me
thanks for believing in me
i'll do my best
wait for me

mental note:its going to get really interesting on the 1st day in jpn.haha.looking forward to it.

you big idiot

i really had to write this.
u broke my heart.
wasn't it hard enough for me not being able to see u more than once a week?
wasn't it hard enough for me to accept all yr excuses and not being able to complaint about it?
aren't u busy enough?
why are u doing this to me?
or am i being selfish?
or was it u?
damn it!
u're the biggest idiot i have ever met
u treat my heart like it was a piece of garbage
u didn't care

all the plans
i prepared myself to see u
i changed my clothes a few times tonight
i don't want to smell bad when i see u
i spent more time than i should in the bathroom tonight
thought i should look cleaner and smell better
spent an hour for a stupid scrubbing session
thought u might be happy when u touch my skin,i'm super soft and clean tonight
but u had to ruin it all
i hate making plans with u
u will ruin everything
because u're big fat idiot

i planned something special
been thinking to surprise u
well fuck it.
no more surprises
no more plans
u'll end up cancelling my plans and making me look stupid
thanks a lot

mental note:i don't care what u might be feeling right now.

i am really wasting my time.i should be sleeping now.

Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?
alamak.nobody watched!had to do something about it.:)~

When you're walking, do you stop to drink?
hehe.*sheepishly* drink while walking.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it?
yes.i believe so.survival of the fittest.

Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle?
yes.yes.yes.

Ever snuck out of your house?
haha.yes.thousands times!

Kill or Be killed?
tough question needs tough answer.er..SKIP!

Break someone’s heart or have your heart broken?
both.hope xpayah go thru again.

What did you do today?
update blog.keluar.makan.main dgn kucing.

Do you like someone right this second?
yep.my bubu.

Would you ever get a tattoo?
tatto yg xpermanent tu bleh kot.beli mamee mesti dpt punya.

What was the last thing you ate?
nasik.ingat kot dpt mcd.no luck.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
night person.mcm batman.

Do you snore?
haha.honestly yes.bila dah sgt2 penat.

Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?
yep.no comment.

What would you do if you opened up your front door to a dead body?
blur kejap kot.wakenabeb ke ni?

Do you like to spend time with people?
yes.i'm a social butterfly.kahkahkah.

Are you hungry?
always.dah gila kot.

Are you a forgiving person?
i hope i am.

When was the last time you did the dishes?
lepas dinner tadi.

Are you talking to anyone while doing this?
no.everybody's asleep.

Do you want a relationship right now?
i want and i'm in it.loving every second of it~

What are you about to do?
tutup pc dan pujuk diri sendiri supaya tido.

Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't?
i wish that someone was really dead.

If you could be a superhero what would you want to do?
turn back time.undo all mistakes.

Your name plus "ness"?
naliness?ke natalianess?huduhnye

Three feelings at the moment?
miss bubu,boring cause xdpt gayut,lapar tu feeling jugak kan?

Done anything you regret so far in life?
i hope not.regrets tu macam means u make mistakes.i tried to think apa yg dibuat tu sebagai accomplishments.

Are you listening to anything?
no.malas nak pasang lagu.

Where are you right now?
aiyo.dpn pc la dey.

What are you scared of?
frogs.hehe.posting.my future.

Last song you sang out loud?
michael jackson-u are not alone

Are you thinking of someone right now?
yep.bubu.can't wait for tomorrow.

Who is the last person you talked to on the phone?
farahazura.

Last thing you downloaded on your computer?
senarai auction kereta kat bank

Have you changed much this year?
had to ask someone else.i didn't notice anything big yet.

Where was the last place you went besides where you are?
err toilet?

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
huahuahua.celebrity looked like me!

Do you speak any other language?
apart from what i know now?sadly x.bubu jom la blajar spanish..

Do you dress for style or comfort?
comfort+match my mood=serabut

What's the craziest thing you've done?
too many.one of them is maybe what i'm about to do tomorrow kot.

Favorite color(s)?
white.blue.

What is your favorite Nickelback song?
i like all of them.chad kroeger is so sexy.

Last time you smiled?
kat yik foong tadi.kad kredit naim xleh pakai.float byk sgt.damn~

If you could choose any fate what would you choose?
it will involve me+bubu+bmw cars+money+love+...

If you could have anything in the world, what would you want?
bubu.

let's waste time ppl!

What is on your bed right now?
pillows,bubu punya pink tshirt and my bag

When was the last time you threw up?
last month.the first few days of KISSM.haha

What's your favorite word or phrase?
u busuk :)

Name 3 people who made you smile today?
cina jual modem kat parade,naim,mama

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
freezing to death!try sleeping in cameron time musim hujan.ces.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
ironing naim's shirt.berbuat baik mengharapkan mcdonald.

What is your favorite holiday?
me+bubu in bali.

Have you ever been to another country?
nope.hopefully soon.

What is the last thing you said aloud?
BAGI LA SIGNAL WEI!!

What is the best ice cream flavor?
chocolate.end of discussion.

What was the last thing you had to drink?
hot chocolate.buat sendiri.tasty~

What are you wearing right now?
green kaftan.

What was the last thing you ate?
nasik+sambal tumis udang dgn petai+ayam goreng

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
uwaaaaa~~~nooooooooo.......zero $$.nak beli baju bundle pun xlepas.

When was the last time you ran?
just now.kat yik foong.rushing ke kedai komputer.takut tutup.

What's the last sporting event you watched?
bola sepak liga melayu.malam semalam.horrible.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
bora-bora island.with bubu.

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
azfar's blog.a few days back.theirmorningglory.blogspot.

Ever go camping?
huh.camping PPL in teluk batik.worst nightmare.

Do you have a tan?
i am tan.wtf?

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
haha.no.i'm not that clumsy.

What is your guilty pleasure?
all my overly creative imaginations that involves me and bubu.*wink*

Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot?
rarely.cause i've stop ym-ing.

Do you drink your soda from a straw?
nope.xde feel.like to drink it directly from the can.baru cool.

What did your last text message say?
teman aku pegi jumpa org pkul 7.30pm jap lagi ok.eh,jadi ke plan kita nak gi beli modem malam ni?

Are you someone's best friend?
i'd like to think so.

What are you doing tomorrow?
jumpa bubu and surprise him.

Where is your mom right now?
tido la.dah pkul 1pg ni..

Look to your left, what do you see?
bakul yang penuh dgn kain yg belum dilipat.

What color is your watch?
silver.

What do you think of when you think of Australia?
kangaroo,koala and steve irwin.

Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
sadly no.but will make a trip to genting soon!

What is your birthstone?
really boring stone.opal.yuck.

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive tthru?
drive thru.easier.

Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate?
teyl batch 2003-2009.i hate them all.excluding a few.

Do you have a dog?
no.i have cats.hannah and the three musketeers that i haven't decide what names to call them.

Last person you talked to on the phone?
farah.

Any plans today?
dapat bangun bila alarm clock bunyi pukul 4.30am jap lagi

Are you happy?
as long as my bubu is with me,i'm happy.right now,i am truly over-excited.

Where are you right now?
depan pc.tepi bakul kain.

Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
still jobless.*sigh*

Last song listened to?
michael jackson-thriller

Last movie you saw?
cinema-transformers.dvd-angels&demons

Are you allergic to anything?
yes.sabun and air-cond.

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
black 2inch open-toe i bought at nose.really comfy.

Are you jealous of anyone?
not particularly.i'm happy.

Are you married?
no.

Is anyone jealous of you?
haha.mestilah ramai.typical human.biasalah.

Do any of your friends have children?
ntah.xamik peduli pun.

Do you eat healthy?
i tried.one portion of vege for each meal.a must.

What do you usually do during the day?
watch tv,sleeping,kacau bubu.

Do you hate anyone right now?
no.waste of time.

Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
yep.every time i answered phone calls.

How many kids do you want when you're older?
4 or 5.maybe more.i dunnow.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
solid twenty-four.yeesh.i'm getting old.

How did u get one of your scars?
cermin kereta jatuh on my wrist.i was 5years old at that time.

the day i thought i really should write something

first and foremost,
hi bubu

phew!
its been a while since i wrote something
life has been tumbling up and down recently
finally,its finished.
my whole student life was finished.kaput.
am i glad?yep.sure thing.
but i do miss my tiny group of friends
especially those who knows me and won't judge me for what i do
its been one hell of a ride
but i'm sure i'm not up to do it again

i don't want to talk about friendship
because honestly i didn't get the chance to really taste it
its not really hard to find a good friend
its as easy as eating roti canai (thats currently in front of me right at this moment)
but finding a traitor is much easier
at one look,u'll definitely know
to all the lying bitches in teyl:i know who u are
message sent.delivered.done.

bubu,u're right
and i hate to say this
u're almost always right
they don't deserve me
they're too dumb

enough about friendship talk
but for my real friends out there
in case u're reading this
thanks for sticking up with me
even when i'm being impossible
i'm not going to talk about the hot gossip
that revolves around the late teyl group either
simply put,
i didn't do it
u guys can ask the bomoh to voodoo my mum or whatever
but the truth will come out soon
and u ppl will be too dumb to understand
plain simple truth
god, u guys are really idiot.
oh how i look forward for convocation this october
u bitches look out
i'm going to get even.

just last night i had found out
that my genius bf had stumble upon my blog
yeeshh
so much for trashing him secretly whatnot
but he told me that he didn't mind
i can write whatever things that i like
he told me this last night: baby, i ni kan windows explorer
but its a good thing that he finds out on his own
i do want him to find out about the blog and read it
that's the main purpose for writing this

damn
tv looks so tempting
had to stop writing
besides,i'm making a lot grammar errors now
better stop writing
before i tarnished my reputation as a future tea-cher

mental note: never write with an empty stomach and a tv nearby.that roti canai looks so good.i'm blank.all i can think of is that roti canai.shoot.

to one special anonymous who has kindly post a comment on my blog

dear anonymous,

i miss u
and i want u to hurry home
life's kinda empty when u're not around