i'm being stupid. for the thousand time.

i wonder why i still feel sad
i thought i could sleep it off
and forget about it.
but its still root deep inside my heart
i couldn't stop my tears
it hurts so much
i tried to imagine how life will be like
i guess it won't be so bad
i'll just have to continue to pretend
how can i make him understand
how can i explain
when each time i tried to say something
i feel ashamed of myself
ashamed of my weakness
ashamed that i crave his company and his attention
while all he wants to do is work.

i am a weakling.



mental note: if u are reading this, ignore all of these. my entry semuanya sampah. its like u're reading budak umur 3 tahun punya mind. i'm shallow. don't even bother to say anything.i'll hate myself even more.

the day i'm totally speechless

this is the day that i'm totally speechless
like nothing can come out from my mouth
no argument
no sulking
no rejection
no bullshit whatsoever
i'm speechless

the reasons behind this mute-ness maybe because i didn't think it would hurt me that much.
i didn't know that in order to swallow back your own shame and tears,u can't open your mouth and spill your guts.
u won't be able to held your head high and pretend its ok.
i don't know how to react with him looking so confident presenting his case to me.
i guessed i'm too stunned.
and i'm way too sad.
i can't open my mouth.
because i'm trying to swallow back my tears.

cliche.
i'm being so typical nali.
nali yang kuat nangis
nali yang xpaham benda2
nali yang emo.

i can't fight over this.
i had nothing to lay on the table.
my hands were empty.
i'm speechless as i was typing this.
my heart hurts.
my head spins.
i need to breathe.
i'm strong.
this is nothing.

being stuck in kelantan is a great news.
nothing could have been better than that
can't even compare it to the fact that i get in his way of making money.
well.i lied.
that hurts the most.



mental note:sell the damn car.

NYANYIAN SAYA

NEGARAKU
TANAH TUMPAHNYA DARAHKU
RAKYAT HIDUP
BERSATU DAN MAJU
RAHMAT BAHAGIA
TUHAN KURNIAKAN
RAJA KITA SELAMAT BERTAKHTA
RAHMAT BAHAGIA
TUHAN KURNIAKAN
RAJA KITA SELAMAT BERTAKHTA

e36 in the making!

first of all..
hi baby
that title telah diilhamkan from my baby

its been a while people!
i haven't been kidnapped nor gone missing
just really really really (see triple really maksudnya sangat3)
BUSY!!!
hoh sungguh banyak la keje jadik cikgu ni
though i always felt like i'm not really teaching
tapi balik rumah flat kepenatan juga....
busy melayan baby
busy gaduh dengan budak2 darjah 2
semua busy
hmm busy buat2 busy
haha

my weekly trips to ipoh berjalan seperti biasa
every weekend balik ke ipoh
had to see my baby
kena punch card
*wink*
then baru bleh survive another horrendous weekdays kat kelantan ni
not that its that bad
xde geng macam ni la
berkurung je dalam rumah
hmm dah bukan social butterfly dah
(ntah bila masa aku mcm tu ntah)

anyways
merujuk kepada tajuk entry saya pada pagi ini
saya dengan rasa bangga ingin mengumumkan bahawa...
"E36 IN THE MAKING!!!!!!"
damn.my car sungguh cunnnnnnn
rasa meleleh air liur apabila teringat tentang beliau

baiklah kerana saya sungguh berlagak hari ini,
saya akan sertakan biodata kereta saya

nama beliau: Rokiah Ronggeng a.k.a BMW
model: e36
tahun dilahirkan: 1993 (makin tua makin pekat santannya..that goes to u, baby!*wink*)
kuasa kuda:1.8cc
warna kulit: putih
warna mata: kuning (bakal ditukarkn kepada putih soon..)
tahap ke-cun-an: agong
makanan kegemaran: xpasti lagi.mungkin caltex atau esso atau bhp.
status: taken and glad about it!
motto hidup: "I LIVE TO SERVE MY MASTER"...yeaaghhhhh!!!


wow sungguh berlagak
hmm xpe.kereta tu mmg cun pun
gambar akan diupload soon enough
nantikan kemunculannya...

mental note: baby,kita sekarang ni BIMMERS kan?hoho