the day i nearly forgot that i had you

hi..again.

last night i slept quite late.
having a blast with my brother, jalan-jalan around ipoh at midnight.
though not so many things to see, ipoh literally shut down before 12am,
but it's just really nice to see the street lights.
and most importantly, less car.
we raced.
with myvi.and the damn car couldn't even keep up with us.

then came today.it was so blazing hot.
i had to drink more water than usual.
funny i didn't think of u the moment i open my eyes this mid-afternoon.
i was thinking about mama.
thinking about the fact that she will kill me because i didn't help her in the kitchen.
then after a short shower, i looked at the t-shirt u gave me.
it was lying on the floor.
maybe i throw it away when i was sleeping last night.
it was hot. if it made u feel better, i throw my bantal busuk too.
not just ur shirt.
i picked up the shirt, smelled it.
it smells like u.
then it hit me.
WHAM!!
hey,i have a boyfriend.
then i also realized that u are not here.
i guess it was not wrong for me to ignore u for today.

mama asked me to follow her to this new shop.
it belongs to one of her cousins.
the shop sells second hand clothes including shirts, jeans, bag, shoes, u name it.
i bought a few shirts, a few bags and i was looking for skirts.
but they just opened the shop today. they were still unpacking things.
i'll promise the auntie to come again next week.
maybe i'll buy more stuff there.
wait.
why did i look for skirts?
i have an awful leg.
its fat and ugly.
oh yeah..
its for u.
i still remember u told me about how u find me cute in skirts.
short skirts, to be exact.
and here i am, pissed with ur attitude but am still looking for skirts.
just to please u.
ain't life a bitch?

i don't understand myself most of the time.
i wish i could be much stronger and have the strength to ignore u for days.
went missing or unreachable.
i want to run away from u as far as possible so u can't hurt me.
but i find myself crawling back at u each time i tried to do that.
well i had to agree with xyhime.
this relationship is distructive.
sado-masochism.
u treat me like i'm a piece of garbage, though its unhealthy, but i let u to treat me like one.
pathetic.

since i had a lot of fun shopping with mama, i nearly forgot about u.
i find that quite amusing
u see, u never really left my mind.
sometimes, when i'm strong enough, i'll be able to forget about u for the whole day.
but that happens like once in a pink,green,yellowish moon.
u're always on my mind.
though it sounds corny and stupid, but its true.

do i really hope to forget u?
even just for a day?

i would stick to plain no.
maybe i'll let u slip off my mind for a few hours.
then i'll think of some things that u've said, or things that u do
i'll remember u back in seconds.

mama cooked some tasty meals today.
i felt like i want to keep some for u.
tomorrow's monday.
u'll be back home.
maybe i could save some of the food for u.
see?
do u see?
i always think about u.
damn!

i should rewrite the title.
"the-day-i-nearly-thought-i-had-forgot-u-but-i'm-actually-fooling-my-mind-how-can-i-forget-u-coz-u're-stuck-in-my-head-like-a-damn-glue"

yep.
that should do it.