the day i felt that breathing was almost impossible

it happens again
everytime i felt this feeling
i had to remind myself that its only temporary
that it will subside soon
that i am strong enough for this
i had to put up a brave face
pretending that i'm invincible
that nothing could ever penetrate my shield
now i realize its all crazy talk
how could i pretend
when i am merely breathing just to keep myself alive?
each breath is painful
i had to swallow back my tears and frustration
its even hard to write down these words
as i know it will bring no meaning to you
i'm tired of this game
i'm tired of being lonely and vulnerable
i'm tired pretending that i'm strong
i'm tired to convince myself that it didn't matter

you give me happiness
but you took it away in seconds
i'm so alone
though i know you said that you're with me
i pray for strength
to keep me breathing again

i know this means so little to you
i know that you don't really care
maybe we're not meant to be together
maybe i'm fighting against fate

stop hurting me
i'm trying my best to be good for you
or is it still not enough?